The Fanfiction Reviewers And Writers Academy
by ClanCrusher
Summary: It's finally here, the Fanfiction Reviewers Academy. You may have heard of us before, you may have been criticized by us, and now you can join us along with Kyoko Amakusa as she tries to survive the year. A joint author project.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to the very first Fanfiction Reviewers (and writers) Academy. The first year is about to begin and the doors are open for anyone wanting to join. Interested? Then send in an application.

Disclaimer: Sole credit of this plot device goes to Miss Cam and her Middle Earth Academy. Most characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

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ClanCrusher sighed as he clicked the next story on his web-browser, hoping to god that they wouldn't max out their applicants this year as they did the year before. Three seconds later, he had already sent out the messenger to track down another bad fanfic author.

"Dear god," he said to himself rubbing his temples to ward off a coming headache, "How can anyone possibly write a story that horrible?"

It wasn't the first time either, and a large stock of aspirin under his desk was tribute to that as well.

Looking through the story one last time, ClanCrusher had almost clicked the back button when something caught his eye.

"Fifteen reviews? What on earth?" Curiosity getting the better of him, he began to browse the review section of the story.

Quickly scanning the reviews, ClanCrusher almost screamed, "What the…How the hell could anyone LIKE this story? Dear god in heaven!" Taking out a sheet of paper, ClanCrusher marked down a few names.

Taking a deep breath, ClanCrusher called the janitor, "JSB!"

A few seconds later, a portly man with a poorly trimmed moustache walked into the room. No one at the academy knew anything about him beyond the initials of his name, but he had the uncanny knack of being in the right place at just the right time.

"That's it! I've had enough of this. Every time we fix the bad habits of one author, 10 more spring up in its place. But now, I think I finally know the answer to this problem."

JSB stayed silent, letting his boss rant. He had been through this situation enough times to know he'd get to the point faster if he just stayed quiet.

"The writers are only part of the problem. The real problem is the reviewers who keep encouraging the bad authors! In the last 10 stories I looked at, there wasn't a single person who actually posted a decent review!"

Silence followed this statement. JSB took that as his cue, "So, what are you planning to do then?"

"Change the name of this academy. We're now known as the Fanfiction Reviewers (And Writers) Academy. This time, we target the critics as well."

JSB nodded his head in understanding, "So…why exactly did you call me up here again? As much as I love listening to you complain…"

"Get in touch with the academy head. I want the whole Ranma ½ cast down here on the day we open our doors. Its time to teach these wannabe critics a lesson they won't soon forget."

"The whole Ranma cast? But sir, the big boss would never agree to something like that!"

ClanCrusher merely smiled and held up a printed version of the story he just finished, "Oh I think the boss will."

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Kyoko Amakusa smiled and pressed the Post key with a little flourish of her mouse. It was her third chapter in two days, and the critics loved her. She always knew that her character Sakura, the gorgeous blond haired blue eyed beauty, was the perfect person for Ranma. Even the people who reviewed her last chapter said so. She even had to change the rating to M on this chapter due to some more "exclusive content."

Drumming her fingers on the desk, Kyoko waited for the internet to upload her new chapter.

ERROR #1337: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING! CEASE AND DESIST!

Surprised, Kyoko stared at the screen for a minute before realizing that the error message had popped up on her screen.

Sighing to herself, Kyoko clicked the X in the upper right hand corner of the error box, and was shocked to see nothing happening. Futilely clicking a few more times, she began to press the Ctrl Alt Delete keys, also to no effect.

Finally, she reached down to hit the off switch on her computer, and found that nothing happened.

"Oooookaaay…what's going on here?"

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Ranma dropped the papers in his hand, his face turning slightly green as he got to the veritable "climax" of Kyoko's story, "Blond Haired Beauty." Beside him, Ryoga also dropped the stack of papers he had been holding.

"As you can see sir," said ClanCrusher from behind his desk, "The Ranma fanfic archive is going down the tube. It needs serious help and we need your characters to help us."

The shadowy figure sitting across from ClanCrusher nodded its head in understanding, "You prove an excellent point. I shall give you the resources you need to run this place, along with access to my cast. However, I want to see improvement."

"Yes sir, you won't be disappointed," Giving a quick bow to the figure before he left, ClanCrusher turned towards the two martial artists, "Glad to have you two aboard. Now, I've read your profiles and I think that you two would best be…guys?"

"That…doesn't even seem physically possible!" Gasped Ranma finally, "And who the heck is Sakura anyways?"

Ryoga was passed out in his seat, a small trickle of blood coming out of his nose.

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YOU ARE INVITED.

Kyoko stared at the scrolling error message that was now changing text before her eyes, as if another hand was writing it across her screen.

"Invited to what?" she asked out loud.

YOU ARE INVITED TO THE FANFICTION REVIEWERS/WRITERS ACADEMY.

'That's it, no more midnight snacks,' she thought to herself, 'I'm starting to see things.'

The text continued.

THE HIGHER BEINGS HAVE READ YOUR WORK AND HAVE FOUND YOU LACKING.

"Lacking? What are you talking…"

IN ORDER FOR YOU TO WRITE ANY MORE FANFICTION, YOU MUST COMPLETE 1 YEAR AT THE FANFICTION REVIEWERS ACADEMY. OTHERWISE YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN.

Below the new message, there were two buttons labeled Accept and Decline.

'Well, if it is a dream I may as well enjoy it.' Tentatively, Kyoko clicked on the accept button. The screen disappeared to be replaced with a new blue screen.

PLEASE FILL OUT THE FOLLOWING APLICATION.

Full Name: Kyoko Amakusa

Nickname: None

You Prefer To Be Called: Kyoko

Age: 15

Race: Human

Favorite Character: Ranma

Least Favorite Character: Akane

Favorite Pairings: Ranma and Sakura

Least Favorite Pairings: Ranma and Akane

Favorite Genre: Romance

Least Favorite Genre: Tragedy

The application seemed to go on forever, asking things like her schooling level, her hobbies, and even going so far as to ask her questions about her computer and the software installed on it.

Finally, after an hour of furious typing, she clicked the send button.

APPLICATION ACCEPTED. WELCOME TO THE ACADEMY. PLEASE TRY NOT TO PANIC WHEN YOU WAKE UP TOMORROW.

And with that final message, the computer shut off. Experimentally, Kyoko tried to turn it back on, but couldn't get it to start.

"Its okay Kyoko," she reassured herself, "It's just a dream, tomorrow you're going to wake up and be completely sane."

Letting out a yawn, Kyoko turned out the lights in her room and went to bed, trying her best not to think about what had just happened.

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MESSAGE COMPLETE. NOW SENDING TO OVER 300 DIFFERENT COMPUTERS WORLDWIDE.

"Thank you Gary," said ClanCrusher as he began browsing through the submitted forms.

DO YOU THINK IT WILL WORK?

"We can't catch all the bad authors. We'd only kill ourselves trying. The most we can do right now is train this generation of critics and authors so that the next generation of writers won't publish such horrible work."

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END

A/N: And yes we are serious about this academy too. If you want to join up, add this story to your alerts and send me an e-mail with your submitted application (You don't actually have to give out your real age). You might just get mentioned in Kyoko's adventures, but don't expect to be buddy buddy with the Ranma cast.

Finally, there are a few staff positions open for those who are interested. In order to qualify as a staff member, you need to have written at least one Ranma fic, which the other staff members will assess and evaluate, and you must have extensive knowledge of the Ranma ½ series.

Once again, this academy belongs to Miss Cam and Rumiko Takahashi. I just run the place.


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to the orientation of the Fanfiction reviewers academy. I'd like to point out now that you are free to PM us to request honest reviews to your stories.

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INITIATING WAKEUP PROCEDURE "GET THE HELL UP."

Kyoko slowly opened her eyes, wincing at the light that was shining through some unknown window, "Whatha…who said that?"

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP

Kyoko jumped up a foot from a sitting position and fell off the bed, letting out a string of profanities as she picked her bruised body up off the floor.

I LOVE DOING THAT. HA HA HA.

Whirling around, looking for the voice, Kyoko's eye fell on a computer screen with green letters scrolling across it.

"Wait a sec, that isn't my computer," looking around she noticed the bed she had just gotten out of, "hey that isn't my bed," further examining the room she came to the inevitable conclusion, "hey this isn't my room."

EXCELLENT DEDUCTION HOLMES.

Restraining herself from jumping in the air again, Kyoko turned to face the computer.

"You can talk?"

YES. AND JUDGING BY THE NATURE OF YOUR STORIES I ALSO HAVE A MUCH BETTER VOCABULARY THAN YOU.

Ignoring the jibe, Kyoko asked the next obvious question, "Where am I?"

THE FANFICTION REVIEWERS AND WRITERS ACADEMY

"What? You mean this place is real?"

NO. CURRENTLY YOU ARE LIVING IN A DREAM WORLD WHERE EVERYTHING IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD.

Kyoko could almost feel the sarcasm coming from the computer even though it was a machine, "Who runs the academy?"

THIS ACADEMY IS AN OFFSHOOT OF THE MISS CAM ACADEMY CHAINS AND IS THE OFFICIAL PROPERTY OF RUMIKO TAKAHASHI.

"Wait…Rumiko? Oh my god does that mean Ranma's going to be here? The hunk of all hunks? The martial artist supreme? The best looking guy in anime since Vampire Hunter D?"

If one looked carefully, one could see a sweatdrop forming on the computer's monitor.

THAT IS NOT WHAT THEY CALL HIM, BUT YES.

Kyoko blinked, "Huh? Then what do they call him?"

SHISNO.

There was a crash outside her door and shouting could be heard outside, "Damnit Gary, if you call me that one more time I'm going to tear your Sub Atomic Matrix right out of your hard drive!"

UH OH.

With a loud smash, the door to Kyoko's room flew off its hinges and impacted the other wall, going clean through it and leaving a door shaped hole in the flimsy wood. And there, in the broken doorway, stood Ranma.

Kyoko knew she was staring, but she really didn't care. Just like the anime showed him, Ranma had the body of an athlete and the complexion to match. Merely seeing him filled her with confidence.

"Oops, sorry about that, Gary's been getting on my nerves lately."

Getting no response, Ranma walked over next to her, taking his hand and waving it in front of her face, "Hello? Anybody home?"

No response.

"Aw man, Gary call the medical department and tell them to bring some water. We've got another fainter."

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"Is she going to stay asleep all day?"

"I bet I would if Ranma looked at me like that."

"Get over yourself, there's no way Ranma would pay attention to you."

"Like your one to talk, he probably wouldn't give you a second glance."

Kyoko mumbled in her impromptu sleep as the arguing around her got more heated and language got more R rated.

"Alright, step aside, we got the water bucket."

_The what?_

Kyoko bolted upright, nearly butting heads with one of the girls in front of her, "I'm awake!" she shouted.

JSB lowered the ice water with a sigh and skulked off, mumbling under his breath.

"Oh my god how was it?" asked one of the excited girls still squatting next to her.

"How was what?" she asked confused.

"Ranma! You fainted and he carried you down to the auditorium!"

"He…did?"

"Yeah! Bridal style!"

_And I don't even remember it?_

The girls around her kept asking questions no matter how many times she insisted that she didn't remember anything. The insults were about to erupt into a catfight when the loud whistling sound of microphone feedback sent everyone covering their ears.

"Sorry, sorry, my fault," said a voice over the mic.

Sitting up, Kyoko got the first good look at where she actually was, and nearly fell over in surprise.

The whole "school" as it were, had been moved outside onto a large field with a baseball diamond and soccer field. But that wasn't what surprised her. Before her, stood a huge tall white building which was unmistakably Furinkan High, right down to the clock on top. And right next to the blond haired man on stage was none other than Ranma and Ryoga.

"I…don't believe it," she said out loud. Sure, she had been told that she was with the Ranma cast but hearing it and seeing it were two entirely different things.

"Attention please!"

The general muttering around her and the crowd quieted down as the person on stage began talking.

"Many of you may know this place as the famous Furinkin High School in the Nerima district. But that is not true."

Confused muttering arose from the crowd.

"You mean I really am lost again?" shouted Ryoga suddenly.

"Shut-up pig boy, you're ruining the effect," whispered Ranma harshly.

"This place," continued the blond man ignoring the two on stage, "will be known as your home for the next year. This, my friends, is the Fanfiction Reviewers and Writers Academy."

"That application was real?"

"I thought it was a joke."

"I thought my laptop was broken."

"That's right," continued the speaker ignoring the chattering, "You have all been suckered…I mean accepted into the academy for one very important reason. Any guesses?"

No response, but it didn't seem like he expected one.

"The truth is, every one of you is a flawed fanfiction writer, be it minor or, in many cases, major. And while many fanfiction authors don't have the guts to say it, I have no problem in saying that it is a major pain in the ass to search through your garbage to find a good story these days."

Angry shouts started coming from the audience. Kyoko saw the blond haired man put his hand over his eyes as if massaging a coming headache, "Why are they always in denial?" By the sound of it he had meant to say it silently but the microphone was still amplifying his voice 50x louder than was necessary.

"Don't cry about it to me," he finally said after the noise had lulled for a second, "It's your own fault you ended up here in the first place."

This was met with renewed shouting from the mob.

"AND SPEAKING OF FAULTS, THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TO TELL YOU THE RULES OF OUR ACADEMY!" continued the blond man, turning up his microphone yet again, making several people in the crowd wince.

"RULE 1…"

POW!

The blond man winced and rubbed his head where Ranma had hit him, "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"Turn you mic down idiot!"

"Oh whoops, sorry about that," several people around Kyoko sighed gratefully as the noise lowered to a manageable level.

"Rule #1, because you have been deemed unworthy of writing fanfiction, you may not, under any circumstances, write fanfiction while you are here. If you do, we will know, and you will be punished."

"Rule #2, you may not touch, grope, flirt with, or interfere in any way with the original Ranma cast and crew. They are well trained to handle annoying fan-girls and I believe you know what will happen if anyone tries to hit on the female cast."

"The final rule you should all be well aware of, is that not-so-strict anime rules apply here. I'll let you figure those out for yourselves. And now, its time to introduce your teachers for the next year."

There was a huge round of applause as several characters from the Ranma cast walked on to the stage along with several other completely unrecognizable people. The blonde man slowly went down the line introducing each of them but people had stopped paying attention now. Instead, all around the field, small groups of fan-girls and fan-boys were coming together, plotting at how they could best get to their romantic interests.

"And finally, I'm ClanCrusher, you're principal for this year. If you have any problems that are not directly associated with this school then for god sakes don't come to me."

Kyoko noticed that ClanCrusher had seemingly given up on trying to tame the crowd and was leaving the stage. The evidence was laid out before her like an obvious plot point.

_He's planning something…_

Looking up at the stage she noticed that all of the teachers were still standing around and talking with each other as if they were waiting for something to happen. She didn't know what was going to happen but she was pretty sure that she didn't want to be near it. Around her, a few people had come to the same conclusion and were beating a hasty retreat from the stage.

"DATE WITH ME AKANE!"

"WE LOVE YOU RANMA!"

"RYOGA WE WANT YOU!"

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Simultaneously, the Ranma cast sighed as they saw the massive wave of fan-girls/boys charge towards the stage, intent on mobbing their favorite character.

"Well, you know what they say, pain drives the lesson home."

Everyone on the stage turned to look at the speaker, a creepy scientist looking guy with hair sticking out at odd angles and a pair of skewed glasses. The outfit fit perfectly into the roll of mad scientist. In his hand was a small black box with a big red button on it that gave everyone on the stage a tremendous desire to press it.

ClanCrusher sighed and put his hand on his head, "You know professor H, you enjoy your job too much."

"I think it's important to enjoy what you do."

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First it seemed like nothing was going to happen. Then an audible CLICK was heard over the speakers.

BAMP!

A tremendous shockwave blasted through the field, knocking everyone near the stage twenty feet away and knocking everyone else onto their backs. There was silence for a minute before ClanCrusher spoke up again.

"And that, my dear students, is your very first lesson. FOLLOW THE RULES OR THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES! You all ended up here because you broke the rules! Allow me to explain."

Kyoko got up along with the rest of the student body, rubbing her backside where a bruise had formed. The scientist looking guy with the red button was grinning maniacally and his fingers were twitching as if he wanted to press it again, keeping even the most die-hard fans at a distance.

A projector had also been set up on the stage as well, easily visible to the students gathered on the field. ClanCrusher walked over to a slide projector and pressed a button.

"Hey, isn't that fanfiction dot net?" asked one of the students next to her.

"It is? What page is that?"

"As many of you may NOT recognize, these are the official rules of fanfiction dot net. These are the rules that 90 percent of you have NOT followed and you are now paying the consequences. By the end of the year, you will have these rules memorized, because this is the LEAST of what you should be doing to ALL of your stories."

Kyoko didn't miss the emphasis. She hadn't even read the rules, opting instead to just click the 'I Agree' button at the bottom of the page so she could hurry up and write her first story.

_This is not good…_

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Kyoko limped up to her dorm with her fellow classmates, rubbing the new bruises she had acquired from the orientation. Some of the more avid fan-girls had tried charging the stage two more times resulting in more shockwave blasts. Too bad the shockwave blasts didn't really distinguish between avid fans and innocent bystanders.

Then she realized an important thing.

"Where am I?" Looking around she saw that there were no students around her. The hallway she was in was abandoned too.

_Come to think of it, I don't even know where my room is._ After all, she had been carried by Ranma down to the field.

"Hello?" The only answer was her voice echoing down the hallway.

_I stand corrected, THIS is not good._

Not quite knowing what to do, Kyoko started to wander around the halls aimlessly, looking for something she recognized.

_God I feel like Ryoga._

"Do you think they'll be able to find us here?" said a voice coming out of nowhere.

_What the…that sounds like Ryoga!_

"No chance, we have complete privacy here. We can do whatever we want."

_Is that…Ranma?_

"Are you sure? I really don't want anyone walking in on us." Said Ryoga's voice again.

Following the sound of the voices, Kyoko came upon a door marked "Janitors Closet."

_Janitor's closet? What the heck are they doing in there?_

"We're actually allowed to do this?"

"We're staff members; we can do whatever we want."

"Alright, come over here and look at this then."

_It can't be! Are Ranma and Ryoga…_

"Are you sure we'll be able to do this? It doesn't seem physically possible."

Unable to contain her curiosity any longer, Kyoko threw open the door to the janitor's closet…

…and stumbled straight into the staff room where Ranma and Ryoga were going over lesson plans. Various other staff members were also lounging around on the couches in the room.

Everyone stood still for a moment, and then Ryoga broke the silence.

WHAP!

"I thought you said no one was going to find us here you idiot!"

"It's not my fault! I didn't think anyone would be interested in a stupid janitor's closet." Said Ranma rubbing his head.

"Well guess what, someone was interested. And now our cover's blown!"

"Oh thank god! You're not gay!"

This threw the whole room into silence again.

"What the hell is going on here…oh it's a student." ClanCrusher had entered the room from an attached office.

"I AM NOT GAY! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU THINK THAT?" Shouted Ryoga, the force of his voice knocking Kyoko on her butt.

ClanCrusher sweatdropped, "Oookaay. What'd I miss?

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"This place is a lot bigger than it seems isn't it?" asked JSB as he led an embarrassed Kyoko through the hallways.

"Yeah…I mean…I didn't even know there was a staff room."

"There's more to a high school than just Ranma's class you know," replied the Janitor saying exactly what was on Kyoko's mind, "Ryoga is probably the only one, besides me of course, who's seen the whole school, and that wasn't by choice either."

They walked in silence for a few more minutes before JSB spoke up again, "I suppose it goes without saying, but you're not allowed in the staff room. Security systems are being installed tomorrow."

"Are fan-girls really that bad?"

JSB didn't answer her.

"Here's your room, and here's your schedule." JSB handed her a slip of paper.

Kyoko Amakusa: Homeroom 1

1st Period: Fanon Traps with Professor HeeHaw

2nd Period: Proper English with Professor Mu-Tzu

3rd Period: Reviewing Basics 101 with Principal ClanCrusher

Lunch

4th Period: Martial Arts with Ranma and Ryoga

5th Period: The Dangers of Mary Sue with Kasumi

6th Period: Anime Laws with Rmt

"Just as a little warning," said JSB as Kyoko finished reading her schedule, "Ranma's fiancés usually sit in on his classes so if you touch him you'll probably get severely beaten."

"What about the rest of the teachers?"

"They have their own ways of dealing with troublesome students. There's a map on the back of your schedule, I'll see you around then."

Her mind still abuzz with information, Kyoko walked into her dorm room as JSB walked off.

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**Assignment**: What are the rules? What advice do they give people? Have you followed this advice? If not, why?

Academy Note: We here at the academy would appreciate it if people would give us a few example stories that we could work with in out classes. Preferably, we would like one shots and short stories, but any story will do.

Warning: All submitted stories may be subjected to harsh and helpful criticism.


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